gdflkgj the tragedy and irony is that I actually asked for the 8th and 9th off randomly and this is EXACTLY the kind of thing that I loved living in SoCal for!!! But 2 years of the pandemic i didn't get to see anything live and now that I leave, here comes SVT playing in CA THREE TIMES in one year. It's gonna be BSS AND leader line with Cheers I just know it uughiueg.

One of my coworkers is annoying me so much I realized i was actually digging my nails into my wrist lol. Idk, you would think i was working with toddlers, they just walk up to me and they're already four sentences deep into their question and like, they didn't bother to get my attention, I still have my headphones in, I didn't hear the start of it, I ask them to repeat what they said and they say the last sentence like. Idk. idk. idk my man, my friend, my pal, did your mother not teach you to get someone's attention before talking to them? Do they just assume I am fully orbiting their needs at all times?

I keep thinking back to myself when I was getting trained, worried that I did this to my trainers but i did NOT, i would say "heyyy~" and then wait for them to look at me!!

Also this thing these people do, I'll be answering their questions and they won't even??? they'll visibly stop listening to me???? BECAUSE THEY ACTUALLY KNOW THE ANSWER AND THEY DON'T NEED TO ASK ME IN THE FIRST PLACE. So I just stop talking and wait for them to listen again.

I really did like training I swear but this one new person is annoying the fuck out of me and also now that I have my own pipeline it's really frustrating, like no, i do not have time to answer the same question 40 times and have my answers ignored if I also have to be working the escalated complaints.

anyway. I didn't know that photos were not allowed like for real for real at the domes and i am so sad because bsk has golden hair and all the pics we're getting right now are potato. I was really waiting for boobit's stuff bc she takes the best pics of bsk of anyone but she probably won't have any either. spoiled ALL.

i scared one of the babies at work by swearing an extremely angry word but i'm just trying not to go crazy.

i decided to actually customize this layout but in searching i found that all the tutorials for dreamwidth layouts are still on livejournal glkjdsf. not a promising sign lol. there is a flexible squares tutorial which would be SUPER helpful that was my fav layout to alter in the before time but i would have to start from scratch.

also, i never watched undercover boss before but a comedy crew i follow on yt just did a parody of it, so decided to look it up. I wanted to see examples of worst bosses from the show, idk why but i was actually surprised to see that the only results were worst EMPLOYEES. the "exciting" clips are seeing bad employee getting fired on the spot. so this truly was just pure raw capitalist propaganda then.

i moved to a new state and i have low XP against the germs here they're just fucking me up. I'm wearing a mask every day but people here HATE it omfg i was actually in a pretty conservative area of CA before so i thought it wouldn't be too big of a difference moving to TX but i've never been met with a pure wall of aggression like this in my life aglk. I finally got around to registering my car and the fucking stares from the other people in the waiting room actually made me step back.

but like idk honestly i'm going to keep wearing it through winter even after i stop being sick, it was so great to not have a cold 2 years in a row. it's been so long since i got sick i didn't even know that's what it was?? I was just achey and miserable and thought it was because i wasn't stretching enough before my work outs. But today i was just sitting at my desk talking and i realized i was like DRENCHED in sweat. i took my temp and it was a 99.9 degree fever~

I have until 10/25 off and it sucks that i am probably going to be sick LITERALLY until that very day. I'm going to go easy on myself in regards to writing though, i won't work on anything original just like, treat myself with fanfictions.

BTW in fanfic news I am going to write a 2seung fic!!!!!! seungcheol is going to wreck that boy!!!!!!! and maybe my feverish energy will help make it extra nasty lol.

I really really want to write the next part of my long vk fic with the OC but i need to finish my friend's birthday fic first no matter what. (Their birthday was 9/23 btw lmao)

It was my birthday last friday AND I got a lot of warm wishes from my friends and family BUT!!!!! my coworkers FORGOT to decorate my desk when they've made a point of doing up everyone's desk so far this year!!!!!

It actually wasn't a big deal for me and it made me realize it's because my birthday is ALWAYS so well recognized by my social circles, i was literally just like "so this is what it's like when people forget your birthday" lol.

I did like, SORT OF casually mention it toward the girl who makes it her business to decorate everyone's desk and then she ended up super sad and i felt bad fglkjdf. she's having a really stressful time right now, but she said i was one of the people she had been looking forward to decorating the most and again i just dk how i end up with these great people in my life lol.

ANYWAY i showed up today and it had been SUPER decorated and i got like a pile of cute little gifts ;_______; She's literally one of the truly nicest people I've ever met in my life!!!!!!! Her birthday is in March and i am going to go ALL OUT!!!!!!!

In other news, I still can't figure out how to make my snowball mic work and like it is REALLY stressing me out. I'm really excited to do this project but lol i sound like trash??? audio quality is SO important for this kind of thing glkjhadfg I'm afraid I'm going to do like 15 cheap little fixes that end up costing more than just buying a new mic, and then just BUYING a new mic. ugh right now from reading up on the level of distortion in my mic i think the problem is the cord so i'm going to buy a new one and hopefully that will do it. idk. pray for me.

the dept i work in is known as a good place to start, and a good place to retire, because of the huge amount of industry knowledge you pick up there, it really prepares you for anywhere you want to go in the company. and it's eager to hire people with a lot of experience in the industry, so we tend to get people toward the end of their careers.

So some of the people I'm training are like, the same age as my grandmother, and some of them ARE BABIES, i found out one of them was born in 2001 today aahkgkjd. It's funny because the youngest group is so much more mature and willing to collaborate than the older ones. the older ones are CONSTANTLY spying on people trying to find reasons to report them to our manager. it is sad. And like, honestly i don't care but the thing i end up thinking is how society as failed because these people should not have to be working at this age. if they WANT TO BE that's one thing but they SHOULD be able to retire and just fucking bake with their grandkids and go to book clubs but they're forced to spend their time in an office instead of with their families and it fucking sucks. I really think this is part of what makes them so bitter and horrific to work with!!!

i finally finished a chapter lkfgjdfg this chapter was HARD i realized i was trying to resolve too much in one scene, once i decided to let one thread keep going unsolved it was easier to wrap up and finish. the next part should just be fun stuff!!! so i hope it will roll out smooooth and easy.

i took my cat outside during the long weekend and he saw another cat and it spooked him really bad, when i picked him up to take him inside he BIT MY LEG and he did it so viciously i have 4 huge wounds on my leg lol, "huge" is exaggerating but yeah. I told a coworker about it today and she showed me her ARM and she has this LONG fucking gdoijag medieval looking scar going down her arm from when she broke up a fight between her cats. She told me that she didn't want to go to the hospital because they have a thing about hunting down cats who hurt people or something lol idk but so she went to her friend who gave her butterfly stitches.

my boss took away the QC piece of my job today, she's going to be doing that again, which is good because i don't like the other guys waiting for me to be able to move forward with their work, and also i don't like being accountable for their work like that. but it is bad because it was a way for me to really coast by doing nothing lol. I've had SUCH a lazy/laid back time basically all 2022, because i've been training them all and training is not stressful for me. so basically it feels like i haven't been working at all lol. so i guess i will start again, i have like close to 160 accounts in my name? when we should have queues of like 20-40. so i plan to just go ham on those the next two weeks.

idk what to say about the las vegas event with svt, I WANT TO BELIEVE lol, but i'm sooooooo unbelievably frustrated that this is happening NOW. Like even if it is a scam, at worst a vacation in Las Vegas would be fine, but god damn the timing with the money. I just can't afford it. ughuerghrg. UGHGHIERG i don't want dance lessons though lmao idk i see these dance crews at s svt concerts but idk where they are at any other time in fandom, i never see carats on tiktok doing the dance challenges, so idk.

anyway there's so much more but touching on it would involve writing 10k more which i do not want to do rn so good bye.

right now the biggest thing on my mind is getting tickets for Be The Sun tour for SVT!!

I randomly took off a few days surrounding memorial day, and after that, SVT ticket presales were announced for 6/1! but that is the first day i will be back at work!! if i had known in advance i would've just moved my days off up by one day! because the internet in my office is really crappy so i will not be able to do it on my phone!! I'm trying to figure this situation out, because i know buying during the presale events on ticketmaster can last over an hour. I could get away with stepping outside for like, a half hour but for something that long i'd need an excuse. the sales start at 3pm, idk. i'll figure something out, and if i don't get picked for the presale then it won't even be a problem lol.

I have a WIP that i'm desperately wanting to finish but I just cannot focus enough to write, like i'm literally here resurrecting a journal instead of writing fdlkjgsdf. what's outstanding is a sex scene between three characters and i want there to be at least like, 5-6 orgasms if not more, so it is going to take a lot of energy. but it won't ever get done if i don't start it!!!

I've spent the past few days procrastinating by watching this series on youtube called deadmeat which goes over every death in every horror movie. I do not like horror movies, but when i hear summaries or see images of gory scenes i want to understand what happened, so this is like the perfect series for me because it does like a beat by beat breakdown of every moment without actually going into too much detail except for a few still images. it also has a lot of really interesting behind the scenes commentary and the host is very charming and cute.

and fiiiiiinally my cat, omg. my boy. my beautiful boy. so i've never had a problem with him waking me up in the 10+ years that i've had him, because i'm just so stupid when i wake up that when i see him staring at me i'm just like, "oh my cat friend has come to join me" i don't connect to him wanting food. so it's useless for him to try. I always just keep his food bowl full anyway. But I recently took him on a really long move, it was 4 days long and he was in the car and i was like HYPER sensitive to anything that might be stressing him out, so any time he meowed he got a lot of attention from me and that has conditioned him to meow all the time ofmgfkdfg. I've had a few moves with him before so i know this is also somewhat typical for him, to go from room to room just meowing it up, but it's gone on for QUITE SOME TIME NOW and it is really aggravating sdklfgj it also makes it harder to tell when something is really bothering him!!!!!!

okay i think i will end this here, i was exercising and i think i gripped the handle of the weights wrong bc my palms feel tired just from writing this much. i'm not going to use that as an excuse to not finish my story though, bsk needs to get passed back and forth between mg and vn gflkjdsfg.